Old Man's Witty Curfew

Film Description

Eh? What? Speak louder! I'm deaf in one ear and the other's watching Seinfeld! Darn tootin' You there! Yeah, you whippersnapper reading! Go get me a BLT! No? Alright... Anyway, Wheel of Fortune ain't like it used to be, and now it's malarkey. MALARKEY!!! But music these days is darn-daddling! Back in my day, we had Bing Crosby! CROSBY! I gotta calm down, or my blood pressure will seriously rise! AARP! I'm a veteran, fandal! Respect your elders! Goo! Lambchop! I must be off! Pippi Longstocking to you, young python! Charlie horse is killing me! Get used to the king! 3 points! That's a cowboy on night patrol! James Yolanda! Air conditioning, window unit!

Reviews

"Wow! I'm going to see it right now!" -Frank Barone, the father on Everybody Loves Raymond

"I'm in another dimension." -Mr. Kitkatbutter.

Sit! Down!

Film Description

Sorry, I have a loaf in the oven. My name is a person standing still. But people call me maybe. And all the other boys try to change me, but here's my number, so....*cough* Sorry. I just got back from a lovely party with the Papaya King! I had a great second serving of New Orleans rice! Polish sausage! (Lick!) Ahh!......I'm cold.

Reviews

"Huh?" -Bono

Ow! My Eyebrows! Ahhhhhh!

Film Description

Tom has a fanny pack that won't tell him the answer to the toilet that hasn't been scrubbed. So instead, he gets his friend Squish and they team up to lick the popsicle monster and the defy the law of John Stamos' helicopter in Bali. Scooby Doo? Oh no! I need a good scrubbing!

Reviews

"Woah, that's an insult!" -Cleveland Brown

"Hmmm...those marbles are quite pleasing, however I think I may get The Emperor's New Groove." -King Zu II

A Very Jerry May Day

Film Description

It's May Day for Jerry Springer and this awesome holiday isn't going well for our least favorite untalented TV personality. This story is going to suck (which really doesn't help), Jerry's dinner with Paula Deen and her rabbit Fufu Snookums is cancelled, and all that PBS is showing is "A Reading Rainbow May Day"! This May Day is gonna suck, until Jerry is visited by the ghost of Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie! Georgie takes Springer to Rodeo Drive and.....excuse me, my four year old nephew Brian P. Jeoffrey III needs me to get him some chimichongas. I apologize.

Alright, I'm back. Anyways...OH LORD! I got a neighbor who desperately needs an emergency fire blanket! I apologize sincerely!

You know what? This story isn't going anywhere. This narrator quits!

There are no reviews because this was a sucky attempt at celebrating May Day. Oh, well....

Junior's Little Tricycle and Friends

Film Description

Junior and his friend Zazzy love their new tricycle! It's got three shiny wheels and it's pretty frickin' boss! That is, until General Robert E. Lee rises from the dead and wants this pimpin' new ride! Only the terrible power of the '90s pop band Aqua can save the day...or maybe just ruin it...

Reviews

"Good lord! A penny shaped like Regis Philbin!" -Scott Baio

"This story is a crisp chip that teaches children the value of history and motor skills." -Cousin Oliver

Full House: The Movie/Musical!

Film Description

This is a story about a guy named Barry, who's British, and loves pot pie. But when terror strikes his home, he needs to build a raft made out of a Polish sausage, a straw hat, and an autograph of John Stamos. He sails for 30 days, miraculously without food or water, until he comes across the town of San Francisco. There, he must find a home, a job, and a family.

Reviews

"Jed will never catch me now!" -Your Sinus Infection

"My uvula! *gasp*" -Foug Dunnie, definitely not Doug Funnie of Nickelodeon fame

"Shut the front door, bro! Omg, lol, brb! Rotfl!" -Annoying Internet Teenager

"It's a shame Ricky's gone, but we still have each other!" -Carl Winslow's Texan cousin Clem

Sweep: The Musical!

Film Description

Jimmy Slimby Two Shoes is the bathroom custodian at Burrito Bell. Jimmy lives with his dad (a cast member on Cops), has his trusty iguana pal Slim Shady, and never forgets to check his Hotmail, like a good sport. But Jimmy wants something more thrilling, more tubular! That's it! He must walk to the fine state of Arizona! Jimmy, Slim Shady, and their wizard friend Burt walk to Arizona on a wacky adventure! Watch them eat from Roy Rogers, meet legendary sitcom actor Dave Coulier (you know, Uncle Joey, from Full House!), and appear on PBS Kids' new hit show, Zig Zag Drawing Tag! But there's a fiend out in Arizona named Buddy who wants to kill all custodians, for they are a disgrace to humanity! Will Jimmy make it? Why is his iguana named after a 2001 Eminem song? Why am I asking you obvious questions?

Reviews

"I love it!" -Mr. Broom

"I'm on a boat." -Michael Bublé

"What a crisp juicy story that brings an uplifting spirit that is mouthwatering for the eye!" -Matthew Broderick

Joe the Barber and His Magic Zippercase

Film Description

Joe Joseph was the best barber in town- in 1961. Nowadays, all of those meddling kids use the newest fad, the Haircare Swear, an electronic doohickey a brick-y bop. But Joe finds a talking zippercase (voiced by Chris Rock) who might save his business! Wacky misadventures ensue.

Reviews

"What a nifty light delight that is eye candy with a couple chuckles and a sunny-side up sequence." -Kid123

"Swim down yonder, fetch me a poke!" -Uncle Boots

"Arrrrrrggggh!"- Sly Stone

Scoot, Scoot, You Fandal!

Film Description

Hit it! Move it! Hey! I can see both of them! Potluck is my kind of dinner! Oh hi! I didn't see you there! Welcome to Uncle Sal's Barnyard Cable Trip. You're just in time for brunch with Scooter and Philly. We are having poop. Pop. Beet bop not. Not you! (cough)

(P.S. Thanks for finding this blog. This is random and dumb, but we kinda enjoy it and I hope you do too. This is basically just ridiculous ideas for fake movies that we make up when we are bored in school.)