Check Out The Wire

Starring Lou Bega

Film Description

After Jimmy is caught dancing to Mambo No. 5 in his bedroom, Mother is forced to beg all glittery, Papa is never forced to do anything, and Peter hangs out with the bunch. No one knows what to do until John Stamos knocks on the door to deliver a package from Schieffer Industries. It's a new pack of Lou Bega CDs!  What will happen? Will Jimmy jump into his sequined socks and travel around the state? Will Peter crap his jammies?

Reviews

"Oh rats! The Padres lost again!" -Walter Nichols

"It's changed my life and watered my cactus. King Tut was busy." -Bob Schieffer

Sunday Stroll with Gramps

Film Description

Little Davey is bored. His mom is watching another romantic comedy and his dad is building a birdhouse for a leopard. Cake's stale! Yug! But Davey's grandpa Pete is done with his bio-degradable Jell-O and takes Davey on a car ride to the graveyard where Andy Rooney is buried. Will they eat ice cream, or is there a monster under the bed? Get the paint, quick!

Reviews

"Soy sauce."- Rob Schneider

"A piece of eye candy! Supper! You get a couple of chuckle-roos here and there!" -Roger Ebert

Finding Mariño

Film Description

Deep in the Gulf of Mexico lives a family of Mexican fish. The padre, Papa, has a niño with a lovely nombre! Mariño.  Mariño loves chips. How he loves chips! Every dinner, he eats salsa and chips with a glass of Uncle Mario's leche! But one night, his leche was stolen! He can't obtain the salsa without the leche. So now, he goes on a magical journey into the dias to search for his one true love, Bob Barker.

Reviews

"Mi amigo!" -Los Lobos

"Bub!" -Chum Slimbo

Wednesday Night

Film Description

Ah, I tip my hat to the priest, for am I the true agent? Oh well, you can't lose them all, Joey. I see that a reader is reading this, and Joey warns you now to stand back! This movie makes no sense. Anyway, it's about a guy, alright, who makes a living brushing his hat and wearing his shiny new fedora. I hate Dora. But the sinister Mr. Gobo loves cat videos, and I brought some casserole! Do you prefer fat-free or Jaleel White? Stop before I choke! Ga-hoo!

Reviews

"Ahem." -Howard Stern

The Squish! (Random Shorts)

Film Description

Knock, knock! Squishy! Okay, I'm done. Josh is done. So is mom. Ugh! 

Reviews

"Squash? I love squash!" -Old Jimmers

"Meurggh"- The Elephant Choir of Iowa

"Lip." -Derf

"Furrgh!" -Ellen DeGeneres

Brush Everything

Film Description

This is a movie about brushing your teeth! Hats, muttons, mittens, clocks, Joe's pants, Mike's thermal, and no more Mitt Romney, hah! Let's move along now. Come on! Scoot! Alright, let's get scrushing! Scrush! Scrush! Phew! I need leche. Yuck! It's spotled! Help, Mathusila! April showers be coming your way! Bam!

Reviews

"Scrush here, scrush there! Science rules!" -Bill Nye

"Summer camp, oh no! I hate canoeing!" -Hank Humberfloob

Tuna What?

Film Description

Stanley Manley is a security guard for Bruce Willis, and his job sucks. Mainly because he hates fish stew. But when his rash comments on fish go too far, an army of talking tuna vow to kill Stanley! Pew pew! I gotcha now, Slim! Not gerbils! God, are you a UPS worker or a garden utinsil?

Reviews

"Ouch! My kidney!" -Mr. Foophop

"You give me stomach aches!" -Jerry Reed

"What a funny smart tone that brings a joy of pleasure to the cinema people of today!" -Horace Whatsittoya

Tommy Stone and His Pot Pie

Film Description

Tommy Stone used to work at a rodeo house in Canada, but his sad luck changed when John Stamos gave him a sequined suit that talks. Now they must make the best darn pot pie for Bill Cosby. Will they do it?

Reviews

"I have bowel problems!" -Eddie Murphy

"Oh lord...we'll need a lot more Charmin for that...OH GOD! (Throws up)" -Sonny Bono

Vrooom!

Film Description

Counter Phil has two fingers on his hand who don't know how to divide an emergency fire blanket. But I need a good scrubbing is not the answer. Not when it comes to this stomach ache! GOOH! GEE GOSTER! PHEW! No more glass shoes on a hot day in Poland cheese.

Reviews

"You did it!" -Dora the Explorer

"Works for me. I'll have the salad." -Bill

Archimedes' Pirate Adventure!

Film Description

Arrgh! Captain Feathersword is retiring for the winter. So in order to stay alive, he needs to find a new captain to take over the thrift shop. It's Archimedes, the guy who invented the world! Risoto! He now goes on a pirate adventure with a backpack, a cupholder, and the Garbage Pail Kids in order to find Splooge Island!

Reviews

"Meh! Sneppy pep!" -Louis

"Wonderful, bravo! Best film of the year!" -Adam Sandler